"The Heart of Her Husband Trusts in Her"
My heart has been burdened by what I have seen is a very important biblical truth I have seen very little written about. This series of articles will be titled, “The Heart of Her Husband Safely Trusts in Her.” In the series we will examine our helpmeet role as godly wives and how to implement this knowledge in a dutiful manner as we grow closer to the Lord and our husbands.
Part 1:
“Helpmeet and Submission”
In Genesis 2:18-20 NKJV “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” The KJV version, “And the Lord God said, it is not good that a man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.”
According to biblical scholars, the original Hebrew phrase "help meet" comes from two Hebrew words, Ezer and Kenegdo:
Ezer: Means "help" in a distinct way. It describes strength and suggests that the individual has power to rescue others.
From Mark Chanski, “Womanly Dominion”. https://a.co/d/iQHX2JU “The designation “helper suitable” or “help meet” gives her a distinct manward focus. The Hebrew expression is ezer kenegdo. Neged means “corresponding to” or “answering to.” Literally, therefore, the expression means” a help answering to him.” The words imply that the woman compliments him, supplements him, completes him, is strong where he may be weak, supplies his deficiencies and fills his needs”
The way the Lord created Eve was especially suited to him, having the qualities they both needed to complete each other and help with his deficiencies. Helpmeet does not simply mean submission. Being a helper and being submissive are two true, biblical directives to us as Christian wives, although they are different from each other. We know from our bibles that we are to be submissive to our husbands unless they are asking us to do something contrary to the Word of God.
Since our husbands are redeemed sinners, I am going to assume that you may have seen him when not at his best. You may have rebuked him right on the spot, or even reacted in a way you had to later apologize for. Do you have an approach when he needs to have a Coram Deo moment? Coram Deo is a latin term meaning, "before the face of God, or in the presence of God, under the authority of God for the glory of God." We should always check our thinking and actions to see if we are living, "Coram Deo." To say it another way, do observe behavior in your husband and/or in you, that if the Lord was in the room with you, he would not be pleased?
Let me ask you something, do you, like me have a tendency to avoid conflict? Do we pass on our responsibility when we need to hold our husbands accountable to what God says in His Word? These are questions that I think all of us as Christian wives agree this happens more than we would like to admit. It seems that for most of us, we are much more comfortable being biblically passive when it comes to providing help to our husbands with biblical help when they need it. We may take the “pick your battles” mindset instead of what is our duty and obedience to the Lord. We realize, if we are following biblical principals, He will bless our efforts.
Our husbands are unique, and God ordained who we would marry and together fulfilling the needs and weaknesses of each other, how are you going to do that if you are passive to avoid the conflict?
The goal is to make each one of you the best you can be as a godly husband or wife, even if it penetrates the ego and disturbs the comfort level of not wanting to change. We come into the marriage with baggage and to think that because we are Christians, we can simply live a godly life together without much work or stress, on the contrary, we need to stand fast. “But we are bound to give thanks to God always for you, brethren, beloved by the Lord, because God from the beginning chose you for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth, to which He called you by our gospel, for obtaining of the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Thessalonians 2:13-14
It is not at all about the wife “standing up for herself.”
When faced with a conflict, the biblical view is not toward “self” and how you are being treated, either real or perceived, it is really standing up for what the Lord says to us in His Word; that is if you can find a correct biblical directive which in its context refers to the situation you are wrestling with. It is not at all about helping him to come around to your way of thinking, resembling a manipulation or to gain control. It should always be to help him to come around to the Lord’s way.
The next Chapter will discuss roadblocks, baggage, and ways to overcome them biblically.
Questions to ponder:
1. Do you tend to be more passive or back away from what you know is an issue for your husband and may be an obstacle to growing together, closer to the Lord?
2. What are a few ways you can perform your duty and your husband to see a situation differently in a way that drives him to the Word?
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